Why I Hate Public Restrooms, and the Art of Hovering

Friday night, E and I decided to go out and eat at a buffet style restaurant that we both enjoy. Of course, I never feel like we get our money's worth, because I don't usually eat a lot when we go. But, I do enjoy the food. Friday night is steak night, so it's definitely worth going then.

We make the 20 mile journey to the restaurant, (yes, we live out in the country, so we have to drive to the "big city" to eat at a nice, fancy, sit-down type restaurant), and it's a little crowded but it's 8:30 at night and the crowd is dwindling down. We eat our salads, a little fruit, some bread, drink a couple of soft drinks each, and are getting ready to go back for our steak and veggies, when I decide to go to the bathroom. (Gotta make a little more room, you know?)

So, I get in the bathroom, walk towards a stall that looks available, and close the door behind me. It is disgusting. I don't know how often they clean the bathrooms, but I would think from my restaurant days long ago, that it is a minimum of every 4-6 hours, and hopefully more often. Now, I'm not blaming the restaurant for the nastiness. I'm blaming the customers.

I don't know how many people walk into their own bathrooms and throw garbage on the floor, but there were paper towels, sanitary napkin wrappers and other things on the floor. I mean, how hard is it to throw things in the garbage??? Maybe the garbage can was full. Ok, maybe it was. Then how hard is it to find a manager and let them know that the bathroom needs some attention? If you wouldn't throw it on the floor at home, WHY in the world would you do it out in public?!?!

My other complaint is the seat. I can totally understand someone not wanting to sit on the toilet seat. That's why God invented toilet seat covers. This particular restaurant didn't have any in the ladies room. Ok, so you couldn't use them. And maybe somebody REALLY had to go, and couldn't take the time to place toilet paper over the seat. I can understand that also. So they hover.

Hovering is an art. You have to balance yourself slightly above the seat and aim well enough to hit somewhere in the center of the toilet. Ladies, it's not that hard. The problem is that most people don't know how to hover properly. You don't have to sit on the seat if you don't want to. Just be low enough and aim well enought not to urinate on the seat! And be low enough so that it doesn't splash back up on the seat! Again, it's not that hard! I don't want to have to clean up your mess before I can go to the bathroom every time!

And the funny thing is, you know that the women who miss are the same women who bitch and complain about their husbands leaving the toilet seats up at home! And why are they bitching and complaining? Because it's nasty. Just like the women leave our public restrooms. So stop it! PLEASE!!!