Why I Hate Public Restrooms, and the Art of Hovering

Friday night, E and I decided to go out and eat at a buffet style restaurant that we both enjoy. Of course, I never feel like we get our money's worth, because I don't usually eat a lot when we go. But, I do enjoy the food. Friday night is steak night, so it's definitely worth going then.

We make the 20 mile journey to the restaurant, (yes, we live out in the country, so we have to drive to the "big city" to eat at a nice, fancy, sit-down type restaurant), and it's a little crowded but it's 8:30 at night and the crowd is dwindling down. We eat our salads, a little fruit, some bread, drink a couple of soft drinks each, and are getting ready to go back for our steak and veggies, when I decide to go to the bathroom. (Gotta make a little more room, you know?)

So, I get in the bathroom, walk towards a stall that looks available, and close the door behind me. It is disgusting. I don't know how often they clean the bathrooms, but I would think from my restaurant days long ago, that it is a minimum of every 4-6 hours, and hopefully more often. Now, I'm not blaming the restaurant for the nastiness. I'm blaming the customers.

I don't know how many people walk into their own bathrooms and throw garbage on the floor, but there were paper towels, sanitary napkin wrappers and other things on the floor. I mean, how hard is it to throw things in the garbage??? Maybe the garbage can was full. Ok, maybe it was. Then how hard is it to find a manager and let them know that the bathroom needs some attention? If you wouldn't throw it on the floor at home, WHY in the world would you do it out in public?!?!

My other complaint is the seat. I can totally understand someone not wanting to sit on the toilet seat. That's why God invented toilet seat covers. This particular restaurant didn't have any in the ladies room. Ok, so you couldn't use them. And maybe somebody REALLY had to go, and couldn't take the time to place toilet paper over the seat. I can understand that also. So they hover.

Hovering is an art. You have to balance yourself slightly above the seat and aim well enough to hit somewhere in the center of the toilet. Ladies, it's not that hard. The problem is that most people don't know how to hover properly. You don't have to sit on the seat if you don't want to. Just be low enough and aim well enought not to urinate on the seat! And be low enough so that it doesn't splash back up on the seat! Again, it's not that hard! I don't want to have to clean up your mess before I can go to the bathroom every time!

And the funny thing is, you know that the women who miss are the same women who bitch and complain about their husbands leaving the toilet seats up at home! And why are they bitching and complaining? Because it's nasty. Just like the women leave our public restrooms. So stop it! PLEASE!!!

Nicole and Lindsay... Justice Served in a Minute

By now, you've probably already seen the headlines: Nicole Richie Spends Just 82 Minutes in Jail for DUI Conviction. Well Ms. Richie, I hope you learned YOUR lesson! And how about:(Lindsay) Lohan gets 1 day in jail on DUI plea. I mean WTF?!?!?! She was caught with cocaine! This was for 2 DUI's within 4 months! A total of 7 charges. ONE DAY. And we wonder why these young celebrities keep doing this over and over and over. It's because we, as a society, let them get away with it. When are we going to stop them? When they kill someone on the roads?

Ok, so they want to go out and have a good time, have a few drinks with their friends. Understandable. Even if you try to forget the fact that this goes on when they are underage most of the time, and even if you attribute that to the lifestyle they lead because they are "famous", we know it happens. We probably won't be able to stop that anytime soon. I'll give you that. BUT, if Lindsay can afford her $30,000 per night rehab stays, SURELY she can spare a measley $50 bucks to catch a cab home!!!! And speaking of rehab... this is her 4th trip to rehab this year. If each one charges $30,000 per day, and she stays for 30 days, (quick calculation) that totals $3,600,000.00 in one year! AND IT'S NOT WORKING!!!!

But I have an idea... why not take that $30,000 per day, donate it to a regular community-based, not for profit, old rehab where you don't get manicures and spa treatment. Stay in a rehab facility where you are treated for your addiction, not pampered for it. Sleep where other drug users are sleeping. Listen to them go through the anguish and pain of withdrawals. See what getting clean is REALLY all about. Do some community service where it is really needed. Get involved with either a SADD or MADD group and see how drinking and drugs affected the loved ones of the deceased.

And finally, what are we teaching the youth of our country? We are teaching them that money and fame really CAN buy anything. We're teaching them that you don't necessarily have to pay for your crimes. We're teaching them that money CAN solve all of your problems, if you have enough of it.

And the funny thing is... Paris is looking PRETTY MATURE right now!

Pepsi and Laptops DON'T mix!!!

A few nights ago E decided to bring the computer desk into the bedroom where I was reading. She wanted to use the laptop somewhere she could plug in her mouse and finish up some things while we talked. So we moved everything off the desk and worked to get the desk in the door. It took us several minutes. She got set up in the bedroom, and then we started talking, so she wasn't really getting her work done.

The kids heard us talking and one by one, they came into the room. They started goofing off and were distracting us even more, so we finally told them to go out for a little while so we could finish what we were doing. Before they left, they started horsing around. Feet started flying in the air, and next thing you know...

Man, I told E it felt like someone had died. I mean, one or the other of us is on that computer almost 24/7.

We tried to resurrect her. We ran to the store (well, technically it was the 3rd store we went to!) and found a can of compressed air. I was hoping I could dry her a little and breathe some life back into her. We gave her CPR for a few minutes. She had one little heart beat, and then flatlined again about a minute later. We put her on life support (the charger) and left her alone for maybe an hour or two to see if there was any sign of life left in her.

We took her off the ventilator and she breathed on her own for about 5 minutes or so, before she had a relapse and we had to put her back on life support again. It wasn't looking good at all. It looked as if she was a goner. So, what did we do? We started making the final arrangements. And like most parents in their darkest times, we grieved. But we knew we had to look to the future also, and we wondered what we would do without her.

And just as if she were a pet, we thought it would be a good idea to replace her. That way, we wouldn't miss her as much. It'd be as if she never left. So, we went to our adopted child, the desktop, and we ordered a new laptop. It'll be here in a few days. And though I'm sure we'll come to love her just as much, she could never replace our old laptop.

And what happened to the laptop, you might ask... She fought hard, and SHE SURVIVED!!!! She's still not 100% healthy, so I'm babying here right now. Letting her play for a few minutes here and there, and then putting her back to bed. And now, instead of replacing a child, we are just adding to the family! No cards or flowers are necessary. However, we will accept cash donations!